Greek-isms... (012711)

this is a photo of an ass.
a real one. not just someone
who acts like one.

A whole three years before House (a.k.a. House M.D.) went on air and turned Hugh Laurie into a supernova-sized TV star across the pond, I started Maverick Advertising, let my ego fly and spewed out insults and punchlines that built friendships, lost friendships, lost accounts, and sometimes made me wonder if i was getting sued for sexual harassment.

Nine years, one lawsuit (NOT a harassment suit), and over four dozen insulted employees later, i just figured i should blog about it.  So here below are the most recent ones, and the ones i think are worth remembering.

Many others have been forgotten... *sigh*

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"You're quieter than the lambs, and THEY'RE awfully silent..."

- trying to cheer up my friend and co-worker, Mr. Balingit upon finding him in the conference room pensively working and totally wordless.

"Let me guess... You woke up this morning and couldn't decide which earrings to wear, so you chose to wear them all at once."

- coming in one morning a long time ago and finding Angela Duldulao, then one of Maverick's writers, wearing a VERY elaborate and complex-looking pair of earrings approximately 2 and a half inches tall, at least. And she was only about 2 inches short of 5 feet.

“C’mon, Art… wouldn’t you at least want to TRY and kick my ass, no matter how impossible it seems?” – giving Art Director Art Montojo a pep talk.

“Rose, stop being so defensive. We weren’t talking about you. Big surprise, the universe isn’t about YOU.
It’s about ME.” - to Senior Account Manager Rose Peñalosa during a typical round of office drama.

“That’s what I tell my wife on the fifth day of her period.”  - after someone remarked at a client briefing that security systems are like cars, and can get stuck up if not used for a long time.
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i do hope to keep these coming.
'catch you later.

Movie Review: The Green Hornet (Worth the Buzz...)

“I need a sidekick. I will begin to look for a short, Chinese man,” I said.

My wife gave me a blank look and silence in return.

“A short, Chinese man,” I repeated.

Same look. Same silence.

“A SHORTER, Chinese man, then...?”

Same silence, but this time, her eyes rolled upwards.

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The above is the aftermath of our movie date that included Seth Rogen’s “The Green Hornet,” last Friday evening. I don’t remember genuinely laughing at a superhero movie like last Friday evening.

Seth Rogen made the Green Hornet cool.

* * * * * * * *

Seth Rogen stars as Britt Reid, a bumbling party-boy scion of a media mogul who was murdered for being a principled newspaperman. He then inherits his father’s media empire, including a short genius Asian/Chinese butler named Kato. Kato built his own cappuccino machine, war vehicles that look like vintage cars, gas guns and more, all the while not caring to run to the patent office to get rich from all that. I guess Kato’s not much of a genius after all. But then again, the Chinese never really cared about intellectual property anyways. So Kato chooses to become the good Asian servant and bow his Asian head down to serve the American man Italian cappuccino and an American breakfast of chopped fruit most likely cut using American branded knives that were manufactured in China.

Of course, it’s easy to assume racist undertones in a movie character conceived back in the Art Deco America of the 1900’s. Tall, rich white guy... short Asian guy slaving for him... Asian guy not getting the sexy white chick... I mean, if Kato was black, Eddie Murphy would have enough racist stand-up material to revive his zombie career. But no, Asians will not do racially-charged stand-up and get a major movie career in the U.S. of A. Deportation is not an option here.

So Reid uses his father’s newspaper to create hype for his newly-minted “Green Hornet” persona to gain street cred and supposedly tear the underworld down from the inside. Except that without his Asian genius sidekick, Reid is nothing more than a spoiled pudgy white brat who can’t do shit to save his American life. Please be reminded that we are talking about movie characters here, not countries per se.

A few entertainingly bumbling fights scenes, gratuitous destruction of property and predictable character epiphanies later, everyone lives happily ever after.

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Now, I will exact revenge on the Americans and find myself a Caucasian midget who will be my superhero sidekick, and make a movie out of it. But i will save people money by not showing it in 3D when it has no right, nor need to be, like “The Green Hornet.” We only caught the 3D showing because it was a full half an hour earlier than the 2D one.

But yes, i loved it. Although i honestly don’t see a franchise coming.
‘catch you later.

Back Again... Again...

Soooooo... miss me, anyone?

i'm back online and blabbering away yet again.

Unfortunately, for the handful of people who enjoy my "Letters to Marge" series, and other posts related to our little family's private lives, you will no longer find it here on "Broken Record."

Marge is going to school soon, and we want her quiet little life as quiet as possible.

But if you're nice, drop me a comment here (or an email, if you know my email address), and i can send a private invitation for you to view it. But for what it's worth, thanks for reading.

oh well...

'catch you later.