Triple Header Movie Review: “Clash of a Kick-Ass Date”

How many movies can a regular working guy with a life cram into a single week?

THREE.

Last week saw me and the wife catching “Clash of the Titans,” “Date Night,” and “Kick-Ass.”

Every movie had a reason for me to see it. “Clash...” was a remake of the old classic that i had a Betamax tape of a lifetime ago, and i was curious as hell as to how good the thing would look given today’s available bag of FX tricks... “Date...” had Tina Fey. ‘nuff said. “Kick-Ass” was a superhero movie. Again, ‘nuff said.

So on to my pointless reviews!

“Clash of the Not-so-Titanic...”

I stayed away from the forums and the advance reviews on “Clash...,” and strode into the cinema holding an almost three-decade set of memories containing the booming voice of the late great Laurence Olivier as Zeus, glimpses of the gorgeous Ursula Andres as Aphrodite, the annoyingly indelible visions of Harry Hamlin shaking his 80’s style wild hair as Perseus, and the gratuitous nude bath/sacrifice scene of Judi Bowker’s Andromeda character, which I admit I rewound and replayed in the occasional absence of real porn cassettes.

And while i came into “Clash 2010” knowing this was a supposed remake, i found it quite... derivative.

Firstly, despite the gazillions most likely spent on the effects, it didn’t have quite the grandeur of the first “Clash.” Secondly, they totally screwed up the story and had to make it a “man vs. gods” story that it didn’t have to be... and while i find Bond-gal Gemma Arterton swelteringly hot in a greek-style toga/tunic, i found her character to have been totally shoe-horned in there as a convenient escape hatch for plot problems, without the gratuitous nudity that 80’s movies were so fond of...

The Medusa fight looked like salvaged from the cutting room of Jon Voight’s “Anaconda.” Okay, so the nod to the robot owl from “Clash of 1981” was quirky, but Sam Worthington sometimes looked like he was trying to remember which movie he was actually making this time... and Liam Neeson looked so bored, i wouldn’t have been surprised if he was rehearsing his “A-Team” script in his “Clash” trailer...

Can’t wait for them to ruin THOSE memories... Time to look for a DVD of the “Clash of 1981”...

“Whatta... Date Night”

Wife asked what was in the movie... i said, “Tina Fey, and the 40-Year-Old Virgin...” so she said, “Okay... can’t be too bad...”

Next thing i remember is the wifey laughing her ass off at the dumb car chase...

Tina Fey and Steve Carrell play a suburban couple who are living a nice, but routine life. On the one night they decide to hit the Big Apple and do something different, they didn’t realize just how different the night would end up to be.

After losing their patience waiting for a table at a swank new resto, they claim a table reservation that turns out to have been reserved by crooks. They get mistaken for the crooks, and all hell breaks loose.

Fey and Carrell are totally in their element here, and the producers have competently surrounded them with a cast of losers and oddballs that enhance their characters... most notable of whom is Marky Mark, oops... ‘scuse me... Mark Wahlberg... who turns in a hilariously deadpan performance as a security expert who Fey flirts with, but end up helping save their asses...

One is not expected to oil the gears in one’s brain to enjoy “Date Night.” But one is expected to sit back, laugh his/her ass off, and finally understand how Steve Carrell made dorky the new cool, and why Tina Fey made smart the new sexy.

Cutting room bits thrown into the credits add just the right cherry on top of a real sweet treat.

I want a sequel...

“Kick-Ass Kicked half an ass...”

Stop it, fanboys... i am NOT shitting on the flick...

I liked it... can’t say i loved it... but i liked it...

The posters with Nic Cage in a Batman wannabe suit, along with 3 other characters, including the title character, totally... well... kicked ass... the posters were funny. Quite so, that i was expecting a totally funny movie in the vein of the Ben Stiller vehicle “Mystery Men.” I didn’t get it.

What i got instead was an odd comic-book movie that was promoted to be a comedy, but turned to be a (literally) bloody pastiche of what happens when Batman schools Spidey...

Aaron Johnson plays Dave Lizewski, a typical patsy teenager who does what a ton of us have surely dreamt of doing sometime after puberty. He puts on a suit and pretends to be a superhero calling himself “Kick-Ass.” On one occasion, before getting totally pulped, he is saved by some real super characters in the form of Chloë Grace Moretz’s “Hit-Girl” and Nic Cage’s “Big Daddy.”

Teenage angst and some requisite supervillain posturing ensue, and we are left with a door wide open for a sequel.

The earnestness of Aaron Johnson as the title character will win fanboys over for sure, and Nic Cage’s deadpan rendition of Big Daddy makes you want to root for him and forget he ever made “Ghost Rider.” Moretz was a total discovery and wonderful revelation, and her chemistry with Nic Cage makes you want to forgive Nic Cage for making “Ghost Rider”...

The movie’s biggest achievement is answering my personal “what if” in connection to childhood delusions of superheroism...

At least he got the girl...

-------------------------------------------------------

‘catch you later...

Movie Review: The Book of Eli (slowly turning the pages...)

Saw “the Book of Eli” a couple of weeks ago...

Just felt like putting this shit down before the rest of the movie fades out of my sad, jumbled brain...

By this time, anyone who cares to read this should already be aware of the post-apocalyptic plotline of “Eli.” They’re pretty vague about what brought about the “end of the world” scenario... either a solar flare or something nuclear... waitaminit... a solar flare IS nuclear... but i digress...

Our man Denzel Washington is a man who fights like a superhero, who should’ve been sent to go after the chainsaw massacre guy in Texas... has a supposed mission to keep heading west to deliver something that is given away by the title of the movie. We are assuming that he is meant to deliver “the Book of Eli.” Clever, huh? Could’ve been...

Along the way, Denzel runs into one Mad Max reject after another, then finds himself taking refuge in a nice little town (what passes for nice in those supposed times anyways...). Negotiates for water, turns down sex with Mila Kunis (of “That 70’s Show” fame), and pisses Gary Oldman off while he’s doing all that.

Somehow, it isn’t surprising to find that the hot item “Book of Eli” is a copy of the Christian Bible. But Gary Oldman’s long-winded desperation to find it to turn it into a power-tripper’s campaign how-to book is thinner than Nic Cage’s hair.

There’s a “Sixth Sense” style twist in the end that does absolutely nothing for the story except make you wonder about everything he did, and how he was able to supposedly do them. Not a bad movie as Denzel always turns in a solid performance. But it's not an unenjoyable movie, one just has to have pop corn on hand, and totally not forget that this is a work of fiction, and is not meant to change the world.

Oh, and Malcolm McDowell is always creepy... will be catching “Clash of the Titans” within the next couple of days... yeah... !

‘catch you later.

...musings...

At some point, one realizes that by nature, people inadvertently chat about other people’s mistakes in one form or another more than half the time.

So it becomes awkward when one finds one’s self afraid to talk about mistakes since a lot can mirror one’s own. And everything comes crashing back in my face.

The struggle becomes getting better at finding empty conversation, since it’s much better than a fearfully pregnant silence.

And through the chatter, one listens to a clock softly ticking in one’s mind. Hoping that the time of healing will be complete sooner than later.

GMA & FGM: Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde

So the secret’s out. Not that it was very well-kept to begin with anyways.

The Arroyos are backing Manny Villar. This isn’t very different from a couple of days ago when Ricky Martin announced he was/is gay. I will pretend to act surprised. I will pretend that this is excitingly new and fresh water cooler conversation.

This late in the campaign game, when the wheels are already turning and the gears have been put in their right places, the Trojan horses and the moles have started to skittle out and break out of the woodwork... of course, the stink and steam have been leaking off the loosely placed lid of the Arroyo/Villar campaign for far too long. It sort of smells like a “dagat ng basura,” so to speak. I’d even like to think that supposed administration candidate Gilbert Teodoro is so damn likable that some people are just hoping that the Villar/Arroyo joint venture could be untrue for his sake.

I mean, who would want to screw with someone who seems to be such a genuinely nice fellow? Ah, i forget... the Arroyos can screw ANYONE, so what makes Gibo so special?  The next question now is whether Gibo really didn't know a thing about it, or is he following a pre-agreed script?

Anyways... it’s nice how the Arroyos are such great entertainers that they’ve played the whole “Jekyll and Hyde” schtick to perfection, with Little Gloria as Dr.Jekyll and FG Mike in the role of Mr. Hyde. At the end of the day, they are one and the same person (or in this case, have one and the same agenda), but one is a front, and the other does all the work they really want to do anyways.

Manny Villar is a businessman. If the money's good, a deal's a deal, right? Makes perfect business sense.

We’re all doomed...

‘catch you later...

if I had a gun...

Last March 25, 2010, i had a bit of an accident.

After what had been a nice long night, it had been a long and unnecessarily stressful day, and i was driving home... Suddenly dozed off, and let go of the brake pedal. The vehicle was automatic, so without the brakes, it slid forward and kissed the ass of the Honda Jazz right in front me.

As expected, the driver and his female companion unboarded their car, and proceeded to vent their understandably righteous fury at yours truly. Then all hell broke loose...

Below is a letter i would imaginarily send Mr. Raffy (the aggrieved driver's name as i was to learn) after all the adrenaline has stopped crash-cading through my jugulars, and my voice stops sounding like bryan adams after he swallows 10 feet of sandpaper from yelling at Mr. Raffy’s sad, fat ass...

____________________________________________

Dear Mr. Raffy...

When i hit your car, i immediately went down to offer my apologies, as well as discuss the settlement of damages. You started by screaming "punyeta" the moment you stepped out your car, but i more than understood. When you started loudly grumbling about how well cared-for your car was, i looked at your gleaming Jazz and had to concur. When you declared that i had no right to be on the road if i really was that tired, i repeated my apology.

Then a woman whose face had sharper corners than a triangle, pop-out eyes, and a voice that could shatter tempered glass came out of the passenger side and started screaming a lot of obvious things that were pointless, since I wasn’t arguing whether or not I was at fault. And probably because she was your wife, you joined her in screaming more obviousness.

I DIDN’T DENY IT WAS MY FAULT, DAMMIT. PLEASE STOP THE FUCKING SCREAMING.

I asked that we pull over and discuss compensation, but your wife still kept shouting. So I did the next best thing. I screamed the fuck back at you and the woman, who you just said was your wife. Now I REALLY feel so sorry for you, man.

NOW PLEASE STOP THE FUCKING SCREAMING.

IF I HAD A GUN, I would have pulled it out just to make your stupid screaming wife piss in her pants and scuttle back into your newly dented Honda Jazz praying that the crazy man screaming back at her and pointing a gun would again ask to peacefully pull over and talk about it. AND YOUR STUPID WIFE WOULD WISH SHE NEVER GOT OUT OF THE CAR AND STARTED SCREAMING AT ME IN THE FIRST PLACE.

The MMDA finally come over and tell you guys the obvious. That we have to take photos (which you guys already did), pull over and talk about it. I said that’s exactly what I’ve been asking you guys to do, BUT YOU IDIOTS WOULDN’T STOP SCREAMING.

When we hit the precinct, we were asked if we wanted to discuss settlement on our own. You guys said yes. Which was what we could have done IF YOU GUYS CHOSE THAT OVER SCREAMING AT ME over an hour ago.

Your wife stated that your vehicle was maintained at a Honda shop. Err… news for you, buddy… I just checked the Honda dealerships. THEY DO NOT HAVE ANY SERVICE RECORD OF YOU, YOUR CAR, OR YOUR LOUD STUPID WIFE.

But by the time I post this, I’d have already sent the check over to Honda Cars Pasig, and a nice gentleman by the name of Glen Bellosillo will already have your receipts in his possession. Said gentleman will then be waiting for you to bring your car over to finally get it fixed, AND YOU WILL HOPEFULLY HAVE TOLD YOUR WIFE TO LEARN TO NOT SCREAM AT STRANGERS.

Who knows? Said stranger might have a gun and point it at her just to shut her up.

Amen.

‘catch you later… NOT.

...a REAL Saturday.

A Saturday with no serious agenda is a real Saturday in my humble opinion.

So today is/was a real Saturday.

Wife asked me to wash the van before we head out to our “no agenda” day and i concurred. Only to be reminded while doing so, that being 5'5” is a total bitch... washed the vehicle’s roof on a step ladder and was abso-tively certain i was going to fall off and scratch the side of van... thank heavens for some serious rubber traction on the ladder’s legs.

* * * * * * * *

Drove to the Medical City for an important, but not urgent errand... had a late lunch with Marge and the wifey at Amici, Tomas Morato... brought Marge home... then crashed into a droll-looking Gruppo Barbero along Tomas Morato for some hand, foot, and ear pampering... then he-who-is-known-by-his-adoring-public-as-Michael-V comes in with his son for haircuts. Serious-looking and sounding dude... considering he’s practically one of the funniest guys filling up the TV screens. At least after the political campaigning is over... right now, nothing’s funnier than the preposterousness of many of the campaign ads running on TV. So yeah... for now, Michael V isn’t the funniest guy on TV. I give that to Manny Villar... everyone else is a close second.

* * * * * * * *

Went to Robinson’s Supermarket in that new condo building along Timog before heading home. Had to grab a few little things to round dinner up.

Was approached by one of those Nestle promo girls for their “let’s check your health and wellness” campaign. She offered the wife and i a “free assessment” on supposed things like height vs. Weight ratio and all that... told her, i already knew i was short and fat.

Then added that at least i know there are shorter and fatter people running around on the planet. So yeah... i’m fine with my “wellness.”

And while i have had my share of bad copywriting throughout my supposed ad-man career, some things are so bad they’re good... anyone for seafood? Try dropping by Robinson’s Supermarkets’ “Lenten FISH-tival.” Bwahahahahahaha...!

* * * * * * * *

My favourite masseuse desperately keeps trying to squash my “bayabas-sized” lipoma on my lower back around forty five minutes after a home-cooked dinner of munggo and galunggong... and now i’m blogging...

Now THIS is a real Saturday.

‘catch you later...

earthquake...

6.1 magnitude earthquake from the 31st floor.

uhm...

err...

i'm still blogging...

'catch you later...

back in the free stock image game...

not too long ago, i was inspired by a fledgling little website called sxc.hu
"sxc" stood for "stockxchange," and it was a godsend for graphic designers like yours truly who had more than a few clients with rather limited budgets and couldn't afford paid stock photos, much less full-blown shoots.

said website inspired me to shoot shoot and shoot... and sort of get better... quickly accumulated over 200 photographs all available to those who needed them free of charge.

anyways... to cut a long story short... that site changed management, is now run by assholes, and has kicked me out for openly promoting another site composed of disgruntled former sxc members.

many of the best images on sxc are now here... check it out.

http://www.rgbstock.com/

long live rgbstock...

'catch you later...

Movie Review: Alice in Wonderland (My Cup of Tea...)

Ham and cheese... Starsky and Hutch... Bill Medley and Bobby Hatfield... pop corn and soda... Tim Burton and Johnny effing Depp... some things just make magic when put together.

Given the level that CGI is at this point, it was about bloody time someone did Lewis Caroll’s satirical fantasy. Having Tim Burton pick up the gauntlet was crazy-great enough, but him bringing along his usual gang of suspects from buddy Depp, bed buddy Helena Bonham Carter, and Timothy Spall, with help from Alan Rickman, Anna Hathaway, Stephen Fry and Hollywood’s favourite weirdo, Crispin Glover... man... Burton just had a field day.

It isn’t really that surprising when one thinks about it. Between the stop-motion animated movies to Edward Scissorhands to Beetlejuice and everything else between the cracks, Burton has practically given his audience bits and pieces of what would be his Wonderland.

But i don’t think i can say anything that hasn’t really been said before. Since the love triangle of Burton, Depp and Carter has so many geeky fans that there are a gazillion blog reviews out there. And yes, i am putting this one down a whole two weeks after seeing the movie to join said geeky fans and reaffirm my geeky coolness factor.

Johnny Depp playing the Mad Hatter is cool as always, but Helena Bonham Carter as the Red Queen totally rocked. She obviously had so much fun here, it was a joy every time she was on screen. And yes, Mia Wasikowska (what the hell is UP with that name...?) as the eponymous “Alice” was absolutely brilliant.

Am i geeky cool now...?

‘catch you later.

Double Movie Review: “Have You Heard About the Morgans?” and “Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief” (Reruns from Another Universe...)

My oh my... how time flies...

*     *     *     *     *     *     *     *


“...Morgans”

There always something comforting with familiarity. And “Have You Heard About the Morgans?” the latest vehicle coasting itself on the still-remaining wattage of soon-to-be-has-been Hugh Grant, and the i’m-soon-going-to-be-too-old-to-play-Carrie-Bradshaw Sarah Jessica Parker, gives us familiarity in spades.

Hugh Grant pulls out his not-so-tired-but-all-too-familiar rabbit out of his proverbial hat by playing the puppy who ate the canary but knows he is trying to atone for it by simply being British. This is right opposite Sarah Jessica Parker, who plays a successful, but neurotic and wounded cosmopolitan career woman, whose name surprisingly isn’t Carrie Bradshaw. 

"...the movie was so dumbed down, that ...Sam Elliot, ...isn’t even hiding his boredom and disdain for the script and story..."

The above estranged couple witness a murder while trying to desperately reconcile, then is put in a witness protection program that throws them in some totally town in middle America. This then automatically allows writer/director Marc Lawrence a convenient excuse to throw in rejected jokes he must have from stolen tossed out transcripts of Billy Crystal’s “City Slickers 2” (yes, the bad sequel...). The movie was so dumbed down, that the i’ve-done-much-better-shit-than-this Sam Elliot, who plays the town’s sheriff and witness protector isn’t even hiding his boredom and disdain for the script and story. Of course, the still-hot-at-57 Mary Steenburgen, who plays Elliot’s golden-hearted cowboy wife does her usual effective wallpaper role to practically no effect. Kind of like those pretty vegetables cut up nicely like flowers in Chinese restos. They look nice, make the dish seems more appetizing with them on the side, but as soon as you start digging in, first thing you do is throw those funky things off the plate.

Hugh actually supposedly went sleeping around (in the movie, i mean...), which caused the rift between him and Carrie Bradshaw Sarah Jessica Parker’s character. But living in cowboy country seems to have dulled not only Carrie Bradshaw Sarah Jessica Parker’s brain, but has also made her more forgiving. So they live happily ever after.

Were you expecting anything else?

“Percy Jackson...”

Here’s how it may have happened... Chris Columbus just finished his 2,387th rerun of his old “Clash of the Titans” betamax tape, caught clips of “Narnia” movies on HBO while hopping to the bathroom, then took a whiff of whatever the hell he whiffs, but probably wasn’t what he was whiffing when he made “Home Alone” way back in 1990, nor his Harry Potter movies... then started work on adapting Rick Riordan’s book, “Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief."

"...i couldn't shake off the feeling that i’m watching another “Harry Potter” instalment..."

To be fair, i think the movie’s limitations stem from the limitations set by its source material. And no, i haven’t read the book, nor do i plan to. But while the whole thing seems like a supposedly refreshingly modern take on sliding classic Greek mythology into some “High School Musical/Glee” demographic, i couldn't shake off the feeling that i’m watching another “Harry Potter” instalment.

And while I’m sure Pierce Brosnan just got himself a whole lifetime’s worth of “i’m a total stud” jokes after being depicted as a centaur (half-human, half-horse mythological creature... and yes, the bottom half is the horse-half...), i think he wasn’t properly utilized... but i guess i belong in an age when Mr. Brosnan was always the leading guy, and not some “Qui Gon Jinn” type of character. So sue me... Uma Thurman as Medusa was a funny turn... and while Thurman’s deadpan delivery already reached its peak back in “The Avengers,” it still seems to be fine form... and yes, she’s still beautiful even when decapitated.

I found the “brewing romance” between Percy and Athena’s supposed daughter Annabeth to be a bit forced. Or maybe i’m just getting way too old for this...

Yeah... i probably am...

‘catch you later...

Pointless Sunday Post...

I like Sundays.

In fact, i have reason to believe that most people in general like Sundays.

"...[on Sundays] Everything seems to stand still, like they did in every one of those Sundays you spent as a child…"

Way, way back... And i mean waaaaaay back... one of the things that marked Sundays was tuning in to the Mellow Touch (at frequency 94.7 DWLL, FM) and catching pretty much the same bunch of songs that one heard the weekend before that, and the weekend before that, and so on... This usually comprised of love songs and soft-rock country songs like those by Michael Johnson, Jim Croce, Neil Young, to name the merest tip of the iceberg... this was all topped off by the weekend station ID, which was comprised of a voice-over by the then sole speaking DJ of the Mellow Touch, some guy named Ernie Fresnido, over the instrumental theme song of “The Young and the Restless,” more properly referred to as “Nadia’s Theme.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KzGe5IDOF1E

nope… no voice-over on that link up there… but for those who know what I’m talking about, then I’m sure the tune will bring back memories…

Weekends in Metro Manila are particularly drifty for me… As weekdays get more and more stressful and the rat-race just keeps getting tighter and faster in the city, a mall-less Sunday seems to provide a bit of a time-rewinding respite. Everything seems to stand still, like they did in every one of those Sundays you spent as a child… And the only thing you want to notice is how there seems to be a couple of extra lines on yours and your spouse’s face while you smile at each other, while driving through the loose traffic of Roxas Boulevard…

To top off the memory stroll, we had lunch along J.Nakpil Street, at the recently-relocated Korean Village in Malate and I noticed a sticker of the long-defunct Far East Bank on the door of Casa Armas right across the Korean resto… Some of you may remember Far East Bank's famous battle cry "Yes, we can!" As many know, Far East Bank was bought by Ayala's BPI arm... But if you're a lucky BPI customer, maybe you will find yourself being served by former Far East people, who have retained the friendly "yes, we can" culture of their former company. Ask around, try and compare... There's a reason why Far East Bank became one of the biggest banks of its time.

Yes, I know… aren’t there enough Koreans all over the place? Why patronize a Korean establishment? But for those who know, Korean Village is for many people their first taste of Korean food, and Manileños respect many of the first Korean settlers in the country. We just wish they can help control many of their unruly countrymen from the recent influx…

‘catch you later…

...and these are the guys watching over our safety and welfare.

The police and the local governments have yet again reminded me why they are the last people to call for concerns on public health and safety...

As I write this, I am still stopping myself from sneezing my Chinese nose off from all the dust the store gathered, because some idiot politician decided to arrive in style at the Panagbenga Festival Kick-Off parade in a fucking PNP helicopter by landing it smack in the middle of town at Burnham Park's football field...

I'm guessing the politician, who I won't name because I cannot ascertain who he/she was is so stupid that he/she didn't consider the possibility that a chopper landing in the middle of a dusty football field with throngs of people watching a pathetic parade will send storms of dust flying for almost half a mile around... and there are a lot of children, too... think about that... it's not like the government provides real health insurance, and not some excuse called PhilHealth...

What's funnier is that the PNP's airforce didn't even bother telling stupid-arriving-in-stye-politician about the effects of landing a chopper in the middle of a populated park... no wonder planes are crashing all over the place and killing people... and yes, these are the people who are watching over our safety and well-being...

Don't you just adore the Philippine government...?

'catch you later...

CD Review: Gino Padilla (Let Me Be The One)... He's Back... (again)

Gino Padilla is back... (again)

The guy, whose strongest claim to global fame is singing on stage with Tina Turner (remember her, guys?) in a Pepsi commercial way back in the late 80's has a new album out on the shelves since very late last year. Titled “Let Me Be The One,” power singer Gino Padilla, through Viva-Vicor, offers his take on 14 classic and not-so-classic Pinoy radio fare spanning over three decades back.

Immediate standouts are immortal guilty pleasures of every music lover, the Cecile Azarcon-penned “Even If,” the Joey Albert-immortalized “Million Miles Away,” and Odette Quesada’s “To Love Again.”

"...amusing to note that the majority of the songs... were originally done by female singers... [as] testament to [Gino's] vocal range..."

Naturally, as an avid OPM lover of a musical age gone by, I have my immediate favorites off Gino’s song selection such as the ones I mentioned above. But one rather interesting surprise was him digging up Junior’s jukebox staple “But If You Leave Me” from the late 70’s (am I right? Anyone correct me if I’m wrong…). The original version remains on my playlist as a reminder of simpler times, but this tear-jerking new version does it justice.

Production values are more than decent. But considering the vocal caliber that the album is working with, almost any accompaniment can sound good. As a matter of fact, try to give a listen to Gino’s version of the once-overplayed “If” of one-hit wonder Nelson del Castillo. Another gem of songwriting is Jimmy Bondoc’s mega-hit “Let Me Be The One,” which also happens to be the album’s title. Despite the fact that everyone’s final memory of that poor song is the singer-songwriter’s constant howling like a constipated kitten through a 12-minute stretch of the song, credit to how well-written the song really is must be given to Bondoc, as evidenced by the this new clean rendition by Gino Padilla.

It’s also amusing to note that the majority of the songs Gino tackled were originally done by female singers. Further testament to his vocal range. Although some of the lyrics ended up being either too soft for a guy, or sometimes just downright odd and misplaced, as when he sang the Freestyle original “So Slow.” I mean, no self-respecting hetero-sexual guy will ask a woman to ease up and turn down a chance to do the nasty… c’mon…

The time for balladeers seems to be on a minor upswing lately, and it’s not only that a voice like Gino Padilla deserves to the recorded and heard again, but music lovers like me deserve to get more quality stuff such as this album, despite the obvious fact that the tracks are remakes. Am still on the look-out for a copy of Gino’s prior release, the Sharon Cuneta-produced “Hand of Time,” which I believe contains a few new originals.

The whole laid back groove of the album is okay, but doesn’t really fire one up. Nonetheless, if one enjoys good, clean singing, where the singer successfully connects with the listener on an emotional level, then this album deserves a spot on everyone’s player. For a few tidbits off the album, click on the video below…

Support [good] Filipino music! ‘catch you all later…

Eulogy for Jennifer: Goodbye to a Baby...

Everybody thinks their dog is special from the rest of the canine world.

And the thing is, they’re all correct.

And just like every well-loved dog, Jennifer was special to us from the rest of them. In fact, canine or what, Malou and i never really considered Jennifer and the rest of her cohorts as pets. But yes, clichéd as it may sound, they were our children.

She was born last September of 2001. The last child of their line, before Malou and i decided that it was time to neuter the males to stop them from turning our little home (a.k.a. 39 sq.m. apartment) into a veritable farm. A huge batch of poisonous Pedigree dog food later, the tragic passing of Soda, Joey, JM, Marge (yes, there was Marge the poodle, before Marge the baby), and Joni, it was now Jennifer’s turn to throw in the towel... with only their 12-year old father, Stolich to survive them...

"...That space in our hearts we saved for Margaret, [Jennifer] tried to fill in every way that she could..."

Jennifer was extra special to me, because she was the only one who was born after Malou and I were married. Thus, she was the one i came home to from the moment she saw the light of day, to that one wistful moment when i can only wish i can imagine her smiling at us one last time, thanking us for the love, and the life she lived with us. We referred to her as “Baby Jennifer,” because while all of them were our children, of them all she was our baby.

In those drifty years between declaring that our honeymoon was over, and the happy-weepy day that brought us Margaret, Jennifer was unabashedly the star among our 4-legged children. She knew it, acted it, and demanded of us and our time the way she knew she had a right to. A baby in practically every sense of the word. That space in our hearts we saved for Margaret, she tried to fill in every way that she could. We knew it, felt it, and somehow she knew that we knew.

* * * * * * *

One day, I had a lump in my throat since i woke up... The smell of Jennifer's breath and discharge, which were indicative of what truly bad shape what was left of her kidneys were in, were smelling sharper than ever... She had suddenly already started vomiting, and refused to eat... I knew it wasn't going to be much longer...

Malou and Marge brought Jennifer and the others to the Makati Dog & Cat Hospital hoping that grooming and some dental work might take some pain off her and get her eating again. But her body's breakdown was already accelerating at a pace we never saw before. When we went to visit Jennifer on the morning of Vergil's wedding, she had already pee-ed on herself, and her weakened jaw totally gave during tooth extraction.

She was in bad shape. A mere shadow of her once-beautiful and zest-filled self. And she made no qualms about showing us her discomfort. She didn’t even bother acknowledging our presence.

Seeing her broke Malou’s and my heart so bad...

And we made one of the most painful decisions we ever made together and gave Jennifer the gift of taking away her pain, ending her suffering, and setting her free while the memories of her beautiful life were still fresh enough to be among her final thoughts.

"...A decision like the one we just made for
someone we hold so dear is usually filled with
maybes..."

I did notice that when Dr. Binogon came in with the blue syringe, Jennifer held her head high in that proud, beautiful way she always did in her prime. As though wanting to walk into the coming darkness with her soul as proud and beautiful as it had been in life on the earth that we know.

Then she peacefully set her head down and closed her eyes one final time.

The day was January 20, 2010.

* * * * * * *

The thing about moments like these is that one is almost always left to imagine whatever it is the dog is feeling and/or thinking. We like to imagine that maybe they’re quietly saying goodbye. We choose to not consider thinking that maybe they were wordlessly begging for one last chance to see the sun and breathe the air. But there does come that time when we guess in our hearts that maybe there are ways they wouldn’t choose to live. A decision like the one we just made for someone we hold so dear is usually filled with maybes.

But we know we did the kindest thing she would have wanted. And there will never be a “maybe” for how much we will always love her.

Not too long ago, when one of Jennifer’s older siblings passed away also from complications of renal failure, i asked Malou through misty eyes futilely, pointlessly, heartbrokenly, almost stupidly... why they (our four-legged children) always went before we did...

And in her matter-of-fact way of wisdom, she replied: “...because if we went before they did, then no one would take care of them.”

Strangely undeniable and oddly comforting. Malou always had a knack for things like that. Still hurts though... and Jennifer will always be a testament to how someone so small could leave a void so big.

‘catch you later...

it's a good time for www.nomorelonelynights.com

Ugly women of the world rejoice!

China will save you from a lifetime of loneliness!

(...as long as you're willing to live with tea-stained teeth, once a week showers, and 24/7 snorting and spitting...)

Check out the link...

http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20100111/hl_afp/chinapopulationmenmarriage

The world knows how China has always favored boys over girls, which probably explains the trafficking of little Chinese girls to childless couples from all over the world...  at least some families have chosen to dispose of the poor girls in the most humane way... but don't get me started on the forced abortions of other infant girls...

So based on the yahoo link above (whose photo i am also liberally borrowing), unless China starts importing 10 million girls, the chauvinistic Chinese elders behind the "kill-the-girls-movement" Mao Zedong probably started will only have themselves to blame if they find the mainland overrun with 10 million Chinese faggots who have tired of looking for pussy that they have resorted to sodomy.

i am strongly considering capitalizing on this by creating http://www.nomorelonelynights.com/ which will send ugly women to China when those poor lonely mainlanders pay me a fee...

Movie Review: Sherlock Holmes (Too Elementary, My Dear Watson...)

Let me get a few important things out of the way first... Bob Downey is a demi-god.
There. Now that that’s been said... let’s move forward...

The wifey and i just came home from catching a screening of the former-Mr.Madonna-directed “Sherlock Holmes,” starring the aforementioned Robert Downey, Jr. as the title character backed up more than effectively by the very capable Jude Law as the loyal Dr. Watson.

"...Law comes in nice and steady through the movie, [and] exponentially adds to the dimension... [but] Downey just totally owns everything..."

I must confess that for all my pretension of being a neo-literati of some sort, i have never, ever laid my hands on a volume of Mr. Holmes’ exploits, whether by the great Arthur Conan Doyle, or anyone else for that matter. In fact, my introduction to the concept of Sherlock was the hapless Muppet “Sherlock Hemlock” in Jim Henson’s Muppet Show (or was it Sesame Street?). So for what it’s worth, i have almost nothing to base my assumptions on as to how supposedly loyal the characterizations are. I WAS, however, at least waiting for the supposedly classic “...elementary, my dear Watson...” which i didn’t get... i wasn’t surprised at not seeing the scenes where Downey repeatedly peered through a magnifying glass...

i’ll say this again... Downey is a demi-god... whew...

But while i seriously, honestly enjoyed watching the obvious chemistry between Downey and Law, i cannot say that i enjoyed “Sherlock.” Because while Jude Law, as good an actor as he is provides an excellently sardonic counterpoint to Downey’s nonchalant, swashbuckling genius... Downey, who has exhibited his chameleon-like talents in numerous movies such as “Chaplin,” to a lesser degree “Zodiac,” and my personal favourite, “Heart and Souls,” seems to have gotten lazy this time. Either that, or Director Guy Ritchie seems to think that since Downey’s “Iron Man” was such a joomungous hit that he might as well turn in an action movie starring Iron Man, and take out the armor to stop the guys at Marvel, whose sad asses have been bought by the sadder asses at Disney from suing his much, much sadder ass...

While Jude Law comes in nice and steady through the movie, exponentially adds to the dimension already delivered by Downey, and Rachel McAdams is fetching as ever, Downey just totally owns everything. Even the scenes where Downey is absent leave the viewer just wondering when he will turn up next.

Given the potentially cerebral nature of the central character, i was half-hoping for a more psycho-thriller piece. Instead, Mr.i-screwed-madonna-like-a-thousand-other-guys Ritchie delivers a slightly generic buddy-movie action flick, which fails to maximize the potential of its two leads. And i’m almost tempted to imagine Ritchie having snuck into David Shore’s office and stole a script for “House,” then reworked it by replacing Hugh Laurie with Downey, and Robert Sean Leonard with Law, then just threw in a few excerpts from rejected James Bond scripts... then, voila... “Sherlock Holmes!”

But i’ll say this again... Downey is a demi-god...

‘catch you later...

swat... swat...

Someone is trying to pry off the band-aid i laboriously slapped on... this has got to stop... good thing i haven’t tired of swatting the fingers off... but still...

Hope to NOT catch anyone later...

midweek weekend...

One of the things i like about a smaller, and arguably much more laid back town is that it can take as little as 5 minutes to grab a cab (when one is too lazy to drive) and chill out at the house for brief spell.
Throw in a camera, a stroll through the park on the way back to the store, and we're looking at around an hour of stolen weekend smack in the middle of Thursday...

'catch you later...

good morning, world... 010710

Not feeling particularly negative this morning. Quite positive, in fact... but i just felt like having Adam Lambert’s heart-wretchingly screeching disaster soundtrack “Time for Miracles” as my first song for the day, oddly followed by Acoustic Alchemy’s now-classic “Playing for Time” from the critically-acclaimed “Back on the Case.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZUXuG8Q_I-I&feature=PlayList&p=B9EF886159136B26&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=90

Absolutely no connection in the fact that both songs have the word “time” in them... the above link is to a youtube post of a live performance in their Sta. Lucia concert, which i have on dvd. I’ll be honest in the fact i find Miles Gilderdale’s attempt at covering for percussionist Mario Argandoña’s vocal adlibs quite awkward... must be something unsettling about a balding Englishman singing falsetto...

Just got a message from the wifey that Marge is kind of spaced out with her cold... damn January weather... left photo shows her in the La Trinidad store "getting busy."

While i’m watching from a 5-hour ride away, Maverick is all systems go. Lost a small pitch, but working on the big ones we already won late last year... smells like a good year... 'hope i'm not speaking too soon... not stopping in looking for the gravy... can't wait to get back into the Maverick action... be back there in a few more days...

Hope Marge feels better later in the day...

‘catch you later...

welcome back...

Firstly, from the wifey, Marge and myself, a happy new year to all of you and welcome back to BROKEN RECORD.

The handful of you who actually visit this place from time to time will most likely be wondering where i went, what happened, and most importantly, why i shut BROKEN RECORD down for a while.

The reasons are much too sticky for me to thresh out. Just imagine a big plate of fresh, un-sauced spaghetti that was cooked with too little oil, and that got landed on by steamed rice, and this guy has been trying to pick out the rice grains, and untangle the pile without breaking the noodles...

THAT sticky...

Still picking... but getting there...

But yes, i saw the blue-skinned “AVATAR,” which incidentally might have been inspired by James Cameron’s weed-laced dream of sex-starved Smurfs that finally went through a steroid-loaded puberty... also caught Jim Carrey’s “CHRISTMAS CAROL” (on 3D!), and was suddenly struck with nostalgia for the old stop-motion Christmas movies they used to show on RPN Channel 9 (remember the one with the elf who wanted to be a dentist and said that the abominable snowman was only really mean because he had a toothache...?)... saw Roland Emmerich’s expectedly plotless “2010,” and actually enjoyed it because my life felt like it was on the brink of a disaster at that time... i also found myself both laughing and crying at the same time over the list of movie offerings at the Manila Film Festival.

My love for supporting local music also means i will be buying Gino Padilla’s (yes, he’s back) offering of OPM remakes (it’s still Gino Padilla), and Side A’s new disc (too bad they lost Joey Benin...), as well. Both on old-fashioned CD’s at the next opportunity i find myself in a record bar. More on these two much later...

For what it’s worth... i’m back...

And no, the roller coaster still hasn’t stopped running. I must admit to getting dizzy from time to time, but i’m holding on to the rails, and am far from throwing up, much less giving up. It slows down from time to time anyways...

Will also be starting a blog where i’ll toss all my poetic corniness and save the idiots who visit this one from the ants and cockroaches i’ll be sending up their pants and their spines, respectively. For your dose of chunky bittersweet molasses sprinkled with a truckload of rotten corn, please click on “greek verses the world” on the blogroll to the right...

'catch you later...!

Brian May on the Piped-In...

I'm back on board one of those buses-trying desperately to be an airplane... Brian May is howling in the background about how "too much love will kill you..." (how appropriate...), and i'm seated beside some dude who's sporting an amish beard that makes my sparse kung-fu goatee look like a case study on testosterone deficiency...

I'm on my way up days ahead of schedule to give someone some much-needed space... Thankfully, tonight's exit was relatively graceful... Have a good feeling this time-out will do good...

Will miss the wife’s hugs and Marge's giggles though...

On the upside, Maverick seems to be doing alright despite my zombiefied state of mind and the almost total eradication of my EQ level... The guys are pulling through for me... Great...
Now let's see if the late great George Harrison's right about getting one's mind set on something, then giving it plenty of precious time...

'catch you later...

Dante on Gloria Macapagal Arroyo...

Dante Alighieri can now officially give Nostredamus a run for his precognitive money.

I’ve just re-browsed through wikipedia’s entry on Dante’s Divine Comedy, and glossed over the various circles of hell he described. For the uneducated, they are as follows:

1. First Circle (Limbo) – where the Philippines is under Gloria’s administration.
2. Second Circle (Lust) – paging Nani Perez...
3. Third Circle (Gluttony) – Le Cirque, anyone...?
4. Fourth Circle (Avarice) – i don’t even know where to start with this one...
5. Fifth Circle (Wrath & Sloth) – there’s a long list of how Gloria handles her political opponents...
6. Sixth Circle (Heresy) – her every move is an act against all that is holy...
7. Seventh Circle (Violence) – ooh... Maguindanao on da nooz!!
8. Eighth Circle (Fraud) – ‘nuff said!!!
9. Ninth Circle (Treason) – in Gloria’s world, bullshit is spelled SONA.

Upon my recollection of some of the most interesting TV coverage and newspaper headlines, it would seem to suggest that Dante Alighieri had already predicted the existence of Gloria Macapagal Arroyo as far back as the 13th century.


I know that at this point, shooting at Gloria is no longer a rare form of recreation for anyone with half a working brain and some spare time. Truth be told, i’ve actually gotten tired of writing about Gloria’s endless habit of shitting on everybody who lives in this country. Just the effort of trying to cover every dubious act, every blatant display of greed and corruption might take more than 7 dedicated days in a week...

But this latest one takes the cake.

Gloria’s puppies say that she will not sever her “friendly” ties with the Ampatuans. This, after so much buzz all over the place connecting the Ampatuans to the Maguindanao massacre. It is a not uncommon saying that one can “know someone by knowing who their friends are...”

So, let’s put two and two together and we will know (again) what Gloria is...

So despite the bludgeoning her administration and her reputation have taken of late, it seems that Gloria truly does not care for what Filipinos think of her. And while big money players can keep talking about how the economy supposedly seems to be looking up. There is no tangible evidence that the greater public is honestly living better lives. Quite the contrary, actually... So she can’t keep saying that her ends justify her awful means. So it just means that she just plain doesn’t care for us at all.

And she’s the president.

And we’re all in hell.

Let me live each day with you,
___________as though it were our last.
Bleeding from the pain
___________and lies of days that passed.

But bleeding with hope as well.
Hope against the tide,
___________that ebbs, that flows, that crashes
________through every dream that lives inside.

But let me love you one more day,
__________And yet one more after this.
And every day i live, i’ll live to beg,
For one more touch,
____________for one more kiss.

And where forever has never been
__________further away from here as now,
See me, hear me...
_______as over and over i repeat this vow...

I would plead, i would bleed
___________and I would give to you,
Everything that’s left of me,
___________all my life, and all i knew...

To wait and wake on that
_____one misty morning a forever away,
To live through what we had
_______Even for one more final day.

1108pm
11/27/09

image by xymonau (Dez Pain) sxc.hu

MAXIMUM EXPOSURE: COMDDAP Expo Manila 2009

23 years, and a long line of pretenders to the throne later, the one, the only, true major IT event in the country is back and bigger than ever!


On December 3 to 6, 2009... visit the SMX for MAXIMUM EXPOSURE: COMDDAP Manila Expo 2009.


Featuring some of the biggest names in IT, communications and technology, COMDDAP(Computer Manufacturers, Distributors, and Dealers Association of the Philippines) stages the most important ICT event in the country.


Get one-time only special deals and offers from brands and companies like AOC, Canon, Envision, Epson, Seagate, MSI, Western Digital, and many more! Avail of event-only discounts and bundles for branded hardware and licensed software.


Look into the blossoming of local brains and talent at the Open Pinoy Solutions (OPS) section, where COMDDAP opens doors and nurtures pure Pinjoy ingenuity... Can't choose between printer brands? Then come over and catch the all-new Printer Shootout, where various brands are pitted on equal ground to determine the best model for your specific needs... LCD and Projector Shootouts will see various brands toe to toe, and graded objectively by no less than you, IT-user!

...and to top it all off, daily raffles give you a chance to win a host of IT goodies on site.
There's no better deal than this!

http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/event.php?eid=132183371773&ref=search&sid=592673211.1749790471..1


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COMDDAP EXPO MANILA 2009 will be the biggest one-stop shop ICT products and Services in the Philippines. The show is the 49th exhibition organized by the association. Last year. over 35 ICT companies showcased their wares and services to over 20,000 visitor/attendees. Onsite sales reached over 10 million pesos. Join the other ICT industry names as the put their best in the greatest ICT show in the metropolis