Thursday, March 06, 2008

Movie Review: VANTAGE POINT - Not Bad, But Not Much Point

So we had officially missed “Jumper,” which is being called by geekdom as Anakin’s revenge on Mace Windu (if only because it stars Hayden Christensen and Samuel L. Jackson). Now without too many options and having not seen any movie at all for at least two weeks past, the wifey and I bought tickets to “Vantage Point” last Friday.

The first thing that will arrest you with Vantage Point is the sheer star power in its cast. We’re talking about absolute pedigree here. From the currently popular Matthew Fox (of “Lost” fame), to Sigourney Weaver to William Hurt. We were star struck, too.

But funnily enough, just as you begin to think that maybe the story is moving along, it rewinds and turns into Groundhog Day for supposedly eight rounds.

Lo and behold, I didn’t get enough sleep the previous night, so I napped for the few minutes that Sigourney Weaver had significant screen time. And several “vantage points” and one forced car chase through Spain later, I learned the following:

1. The U.S. of A. sends dupes to highly visible events to protect the president. Cool.
2. No matter how multi-layered and well-orchestrated, they will attribute assassination attempts to a “lone gunman.” (Bwahahahahaha…)
3. MacGyver’s former sidekick Bruce McGill still gets work.
4. William Hurt looks stupid bald.
5. Dennis Quaid has been typecast as a has-been hero.
6. Spanish women are mostly hot (even the children. PEDOPHILIA ALERT!!!)

The fact that it took me almost a week to plop myself down and finish this pointless review for the fuck of it, indicates that no matter how well-intentioned the movie was, and how blinding the cast list was, it wasn’t that big a deal. Granted, I would surmise that the director Pete Travis had a hell of a time putting all the various “vantage points” (there’s that word again) together, and I must say that he did a hell of job, but I guess deep inside, I’m looking for Jerry Bruckheimer and Michael Bay.

Worst of all, the wife stopped me from buying pop-corn. That’s probably why I was extra cranky.

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