Thursday, July 02, 2009

Movie Review: Transformers 2 (Revenge of the Fallen IQ...)

I saw Transformers 2. Wow. Whoopee.

And since it wasn’t a very articulate movie, I will instead enumerate my points as mechanically as the movie itself. Here goes…

1. Megan Fox is hot.
2. The plot is brainless. But hey, it’s a film by Michael Bay. A plot would be nice, but well-timed explosions are far more important than dialogue.
3. Having the supposedly “dead” protagonist come back to life in the arms of his hot, mouth-wateringly babelicious co-star has been done so often it felt like the movie’s “writers’” brains are/were on a protein shortage.
4. Megan Fox can have me anytime.
5. My head hurt from trying to distinguish all the robots from one another.
6. My head hurt from trying to understand what Megan Fox is doing among us mortals.
7. I thought I was going to see the Dinobots. Shit. No Dinobots.
8. Star Scream was reduced to a retard in this movie, just like everyone who saw it.
9. The panicky Latino sidekick/comic relief was pointless, useless, and was a total waste of time.
10. John Turturro’s underground lair was such a stupid story element.
11. Turturro’s ass cheeks were not even a story element. Absolutely no reason to be there.
12. Michael Bay is gay. For showing Turturro’s ass cheeks.
13. Megan Fox made me forget trying to look for a real story.
14. It’s only been three days and I already do not remember much more about the movie except that Megan Fox was hot.

15. Megan Fox is hot.

* * * * *

What by far more interesting than Transformers 2 was the absence of long lines at Robinson’s Galleria on a Sunday afternoon. And it’s even crazier to note that we saw this “phenomenon” merely half an hour after escaping the Transformers-seeking mob at Trinoma’s literally steaming-hot cinema level, where the airconditioning seems to have given trying…

I seriously can’t figure out what’s wrong with Robinson’s Galleria… (above, actual day photo...)

I assume that there should be a much more interesting plotline on that than Transformers 2.

‘catch you later…

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