Thursday, July 01, 2010

While at a mall...

While at a mall, i ran into the promo below:

Gluttony is, after all, one of the seven deadly sins. And not only will this kill you, it’ll take you straight to hell for enjoying something so damn delicious.

An indescribably tasty way to go, mind you... therefore, i am inclined to believe that Haagen Daaz is owned by the devil.

But no... i did not partake of this. perhaps i should have...

* * * * * * * *

For what it’s worth, i have the mutant super power to need to shit at public places. So while still at said mall, i walk to the restrooms on the third level to find it’s under renovation... proceed to the fourth level, where i find all cubicles occupied... Then... * TING! * (bell sounds)... then... * grumbling sounds *... then i sprint to the fifth level where only mall staff were using the public washroom.

The wife gave me a bit of tissue. Enough by common standards, really. If there is such a thing as a common standard in wiping one’s ass. But i’ll go on record to say that once one is used to rinsing one’s asshole, wiping never feels enough.

But i digress...

I spied a sad, blue (literally), discarded handkerchief right behind the water closet. Most likely someone came in and did what i did, but did not have a wife who gave him tissue, and he probably didn’t have change to buy tissue from the vending machine, then chose to punish his poor, defenseless handkerchief, then discarded it.

What a sad end to such a dignified thing... Thank the heavens for a wife with tissues.

‘catch you later.

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